“Sticking beside Him” Series (part 1)

Hey readers, welcome back to the blog! This entry starts our journey through what faithfulness looks like in Christ Jesus. I am making this a series for this site because I feel like this is what God wants to put an exclamation point on in this time we are living in. Where wickedness is prophesied to increase greatly and pastor after pastor is being exposed or stepping down from leadership positions, I feel like the Lord is not only calling me to learn more about what it means to be faithful to Him but he’s calling the body of Christ to do so as well.

Faithfulness- steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.

Devotion- to appropriate by or as if by a vow; set apart or dedicate by a solemn or formal act; consecrate.

Point 1: We can’t be faithful to God without acknowledging who God is.

To be faithful to God requires first the knowledge and reverence for who God is. Amongst the many other attributes of him, we have to first understand that God is holy, God is sovereign, God is always right and never wrong, and God is good. If we put the temptations of the human flesh aside, I wonder how many self proclaiming Christian’s disregard these truths about God as is. This prompts me to ask, “Why did you come to Christ in the first place?” Was it because your parents told you so? Was it just to receive relief in one tormenting area in your life? Did it just seem cool to do at the moment? Or was it because you truly believed in your heart that Jesus defeated death, hell, and the grave to reunite you with the true and living God again? Whatever the reason was, it is fair to assume that in our humanity we can misplace the fact that God has all of these attributes but if we allow time to go on without remembering who he is then we leave room for the enemy to lie to us about the attributes of God and our thinking becomes clouded. (Ephesians 4:18-24)

Point 2: We can’t be faithful to God without believing what is written ENTIRELY in His word.

To the “Bereans” reading this blog, I know this may seem silly to stress but if we’re laying the ground work to what faithfulness looks like for the believer, it just has to be said. The loud truth is that every other religion and spiritual practice incorporates pieces of the Bible into their beliefs. They mix in a little of this scripture and a little of that scripture to feed to their followers and it is easily received because it seems true and is said to be of God. Some have mixed their doctrines so well that followers of Christ have been swayed and therefore have no longer remained faithful to God. Disciples of Jesus Christ have to believe every word written in the Bible because all of it is God breathed. (2 Timothy 3:16) If you are struggling to do so, pray that the Lord helps you to understand what his word means. Ask him to help you understand it because it is spiritual text in need of his spiritual interpretation.

Point 3: We can’t be faithful to God without disciplining ourselves to seek him daily.

Spending time with God is expected for all believers. God expects his children to spend time with him. Simple. For the past month, I’ve been intentional about waking up early in the morning again. We see in scripture that Jesus would get up before the day started many times to go and pray; therefore, we should be doing the same. If early morning doesn’t work for you, don’t feel less than. The point is that it’s a part of our faithfulness to God that we prioritize spending time with him. Discipline isn’t easy especially when your body is used to a certain routine but connecting your daily routine around time spent with God will never work against you. Be intentional. Understand that your flesh will never help you but what has been working for me is telling myself every morning in the midst of my tiredness that God is more important than my temporary sleepiness. Sometimes I have to tell myself that multiple times before I sit up in the bed. Other times I just roll off and as soon as I feel the carpet under my feet, I wake up hahaha !

Point 4: We can’t call ourselves faithful to God without being devoted.

To be faithful to God is to be dependent on him for the trajectory of your life. To be faithful to God is to “stick beside him” no matter what the world is doing around us. To be faithful to God is to devote our selves to prayer, fellowship, sound doctrine and the breaking of bread (Acts 2:42). It is the standard. We stand firm in his word and believe that as long as we are connected to him through Christ Jesus, he will make good on his promises because he is a good father.

In this series I hope to be able to communicate all that I feel the Lord wants to highlight again in all of us. Until next time, God bless you!

***Let me know in the comment section if God has been pulling you to greater faithfulness as well. Has this refresher blessed you? What are something’s you are looking forward to reading in this series?

The Hannah Way Series part 2

Hello Readers! Welcome back, this week we’re continuing with the Hannah Way Series

Documenting my journey to motherhood has been really refreshing for me. It allows me to place my feelings into one space so that many years later I can look back and see what God has done. Since my diagnosis, I’ve been embracing what my church likes to call “who knows” faith. This is a kind of faith that says “hey God, I don’t know how you are going to work this thing out in my life but I’m believing that in whatever way you do it, it will be for my good.” I think it’s a healthy perspective to adopt because if you are the kind of person who worries first before praying then you know that things will work out…just after you’ve panicked. If I allow myself to panic in regards to whether or not I will be able to carry my own children, it just might break me. So I don’t. I have “who knows” faith.

If you know me in real life, you know that my greatest desire was always to be a wife and a mother. It wasn’t until my adulthood and really my marriage to my incredible husband that I began to see myself as a business woman, an entrepreneur, a visionary. But the seven year old ‘dyah’ still wants that baby so in this experience I’ve been tested with the big ‘IF’. If God chooses me not to be a mother, will I still serve Him with everything in me? After loads of prayer and looking at scripture, my answer will still be ‘yes’. Combing over this question is not me believing or owning that I will never be a mother but it is me being honest and asking myself where my heart is. With a case like mine, I recognize that it is a set up for God to amaze the doctors and for me to see Him in a completely different way than I’ve ever seen Him before, but what if His will is different for me? A lot of us don’t like to think of things like this. We don’t like to think that God’s will for our lives could look like something other than what we expect it to be. We know motherhood to look one way but there are plenty of other ways that women are impactful in the lives of children that still deem them mother figures. And that is what I had to grapple with. Will I still live for God if he does not call me to be a mother but a mother figure in someone else’s life? And again I say ‘yes’.

My answer is yes for multiple reasons but the main reason is because I know there is no one else to go to if I left the Lord. Where would I go? There is only one true and living God. His name is Yahweh. If I left God, I am relinquishing my soul to a wandering spirit. People who have denounced Jesus Christ as the Son of God become spirits who are stuck wandering for truth. That is why there is a million other false gods that they have to go to in order to receive what Yahweh can give them by Himself. They have to worship gods of fertility and gods of protection, gods of wisdom and gods of fortune which offer limited levels of temporary relief for a person through power, but costs them their soul and the generations of souls in their lineage thereafter. In the end, they become nothing more than a tormented slave of an entity who cannot even save itself from the torment they experience. I’m good. If I have to cry, I will cry at the feet of Jesus. If I have to be angry, I will give God my anger. If I feel less than a woman, I will sit in the lap of my Heavenly Father and tell Him all about it. God is no less good if I find that I am unable to. He is still a good father because I know that He has plans for my life that are bigger and greater than my imagination…and I want what He has for me.

So here I am, currently taking medication to help reduce inflammation and slow the growth of the tissue down while awaiting the date of my next procedure. I recently spoke to a specialist who gave me some reassuring news in the midst of this rollercoaster which for me turned into a mini testimony. She said typically with severe endometriosis cases, the quality of ovaries and eggs are affected as a result. She expected my levels to be sitting at a 1.5 but after looking at the levels my previous doctor gave her from my last procedure, my levels are at a 4.7. This indicates that my ovaries are still in excellent condition. I thanked God. She said “we have great analysis from you and from your husband, now all we have to do is put them together”. I laughed. God is amazing. For one, to have endometriosis for years upon years with no indication about it is a blessing because I could have experienced chronic pelvic pain and a host of other symptoms that made the quality of my life miserable..but God. For two, my ovaries could have been getting attacked by this disease which could have given me an even greater percentage of infertility after my second procedure…but God.

There is still so much to be thankful for even with a diagnosis like this. I trust God with the specialists, the procedures, the medication I’m taking and with my reproductive organs. I just trust God. I believe I will be able to carry my children and I believe I will be able to deliver them. It’s as simple as that. Before I go, I want to touch on one more thing. Just because people take medication or seek out information from medical professionals does not mean that their faith in God is not strong. In fact, it was a physician who wrote the Book of Acts in the Bible. A book that I cannot get enough of. His name was Luke. He was a medical professional in his day and was able, by the power of God, to write two books in the Bible that we as believers stand ten toes down on to this day. All doctors are not the devil. There are doctors who God trusts to do things in the earth; therefore, be at peace. We don’t see Luke denouncing medicine and leaving his profession because he saw the power of God moving and transforming lives. If I had to guess, he did his job as a physician and recorded the many miracles we read about. The point is, no matter the profession, God can use anyone and anything for His glory.

In God, we have everything that we need and as long as we don’t make an idol out of medicine or out of the doctors report and place them above the power of God, we are alright. I’m sure Luke believed that the medicines and remedies he prescribed to his patients were good and helpful, but he believed God’s healing power even more. That’s the heart posture we need to have. We have to believe that God can do whatever He wants to do and He can use whoever he wants to use. Don’t let medicine spook you and don’t let medicine rule you. It’s your choice. The things we go through can be there for the purpose of someone else to be able to witness the power of God and believe. A very special woman at my church sat me down and reminded me of something when she found put about my diagnosis. She said “Do not lay down at the report of the doctor. Sickness and disease is not ours to keep. Bring this situation to the courtroom of heaven and you see what the Lord will do in this situation. If you want to take the medicines and do the surgeries, that is your choice but remember who your God is and do not believe the report of the doctor above your God.” That is what I will leave with you all. Whatever the situation, do not believe it above the Lord your God.

As always, please leave a comment down below and let me know if this blessed you in any way. Until next time, God bless you!

It’s giving self sabotage..

Hey readers! Welcome back to another blog entry!

I first want to start this entry off by thanking God. When I decided to jump back into blogging, I didn’t know if my fire would come back. I wasn’t sure if my motivation would be the same, if my creative thinking would rev back up or if I’d even love it the way I did five years ago. I went back and forth with myself about everything. Is this what God would have me do in this season? Will it bless other people the way my previous entries blessed people? Am I ready to be vulnerable? Will anyone even read it? I asked myself a thousand questions before I launched this site. Then one day I noticed that the voice behind me questioning myself had a fear element attached to it and an “I’m just gonna quit while I’m ahead” kind of attitude behind it. Once I noticed that I stepped out of curiosity and into self sabotage, the decision to go forward with this blogging site was finalized…and here we are.

With that said, I cannot stress enough how detrimental it is to allow fear to lead you into self sabotage. In many instances of my life I have been controlled by what I call a crippling fear and therefore missed blessings that I knew in my spirit were for me. I’ve seen God bless people with what I know He said was mine to possess but because I allowed my fear of the unknown to turn into self sabotage, I didn’t walk through certain doors. That’s not to say that God’s plan for me was to not walk through certain doors but for many doors to have been presented to me one after the other and I turn away from all of them indicated a seriously internal problem. Today, I have no regrets because at the very least, I have an experience and a perspective to share with you all that will hopefully serve as a piece of wisdom for you to digest. At best, I am the woman that I was meant to grow into and all of those lessons helped bring me here. I can be nothing but grateful.

Let’s identify a few practical “bricks” that can grow into one solid wall of self sabotage.

1. Insecurity

2. Comparison

3. Fear

4. Opinion of man

5. Overthinking

Each one of these bricks can play a huge part in why you haven’t started that business, wrote that book, shared your testimony, prayed for your neighbor, shared the gospel with your coworker’s, etc. etc. If ever you feel burdened by any of these words and see them operating in your situation or in your life, I implore you to look at scripture. If any of these bricks listed above crippled people such as Elijah, David, Esther, Paul, Jesus’ disciples, Samuel, Hannah, Joseph, Daniel, Israel, Moses, Nehemiah, King Josiah, JESUS CHRIST and so many others…Where else in the world would we find spiritual nourishment as believers? Would we even still be considered believers? Probably not because we wouldn’t have reference to pull from about the times God showed up and showed out in the lives of His people. Hear me clearly, I am not saying that panicking is not biblical, because we can literally read the stories of how humans are human-ing (lol) all through out it. I am saying that what is on the other side of the wall that is self sabotage is something so much greater than you could imagine.

Take this perspective: Peace is on the other side of that wall. Your break through is on the other side of that wall. Your healing is on the other side of that wall. Your next dimension in God is on the other side of that wall. Generational wealth is on the other side of that wall. Generational blessings are on the other side of that wall. Can you see it? I sure can. What’s unfortunate is these things are only cliché to the people who decide not to knock the wall down. For the people who chose to come out of insecurity, comparison, fear, opinion of man and overthinking, they’ve seen what God can do and how faithful he is to perform every good work He promised He would do in them and for their lives. Here’s another perspective to ponder; one day, I was listening to a sermon from Sarah Jake’s Roberts and she said “God does things with generations in mind.” When I registered what that meant to me and my future children, it completely shifted my perspective for how I lived my life. For example, do we really think that God using Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into the promised land was just for them specifically? Of course not. Quite literally, none of them even got into the “clurb.” But even if the Lord chose not to wait until the complaining generation died off before entering the land, it still would have been for their children and their children’s children and their children’s children to enjoy. Another example would be God encountering and changing the trajectory of Paul’s life. That was not just to win over the life of Paul. The many books he’s authored in the Bible STILL impact generation after generation.

Most importantly, God did not send his only son to this earth to sacrifice his life just for His chosen people. Jesus sacrificed his life to save the entire world. We can’t even count how many generations that is. But God knows. How invigorating! When we look at what God has already done in scripture, we can draw the confidence, the strength, and move in the authority that we have in Him to swing a wrecking ball directly through the wall of self sabotage. Why? Because we embody the faith to do so. Mark 11:23 says “If anyone says to this mountain, Go and throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will indeed come to pass, it will be done for them.” We have to believe that with God, we can do anythiiinnggg. Growing up as a kid who watched Disney Channel religiously, I’d always hear characters say “Everything you need is on the inside of you.” Though I’m sure they weren’t referencing the Holy Spirit being on the inside of us, I took it to mean that way. I didn’t apply it right away but when I grew tired of going in circles, I began to speak over myself and say “if I have the Holy Spirit, these walls that stand in my way have to come down.”

So what happens once the wall finally collapses in your life? Well…you can now begin to walk in obedience to God. You’ve gotten out of your own way and now you have determination to go after everything God says you can have. This can look like a thousand things because we worship a creative God but no matter how you have to go about doing it, just make sure it gets done. I like to reference Elijah’s mental breakdown after his showdown on Mount Carmel with the false prophets. I tell myself, “as long as I’m bold where it matters, I can freak out in my prayer time later.” To which I absolutely have done multiple times. One day I was on my job and a coworker came in really discouraged because his mother had a debilitating illness and he was her only child old enough to help take care of her. It was really weighing on him to see his mom wither away so I offered to pray for him. I was shaking in my boots but I felt that this was an opportunity to witness to him since he wasn’t a believer. I grabbed his hand, walked over to a corner of the business, placed my other hand on his shoulder and began to pray.

My entire body felt like a furnace but my voice remained steady. I rebuked fear, I prayed for peace, I prayed for his mom and I worshipped God for him. By the time we opened our eyes, one of my managers was standing there. She didn’t say anything, she looked and walked away. I encouraged my coworker and we got back to work. Later that night, I prayed before bed and I begged the Lord to help me be strong enough to face any persecution that could come from me praying. I had grown folk bills to pay so I needed my job but my coworker needed help too. I was frantic. Then I remembered how the Lord sent an angel to minister to Elijah and give him food to eat. From that visual, I was able to surmise that whenever I am doing something the Lord prompts me to do, He will always take care of me as a result. I slept. The next day, the only thing my manager asked me to do was to pray in the break room as opposed to on the work floor. Thank God!

I could go on forever on this topic but I think I will end the entry here. As always, I hope you were blessed and that there was something in here you could chew on. We’re all running the races set before us so please be kind to yourself. Until next post, God bless!

Community Matters

Hey readers! I’m so happy to be back with another post for you all. I’m really enjoying getting back into writing! This week, we’re talking about community. I wanted to chat about it because the community my husband and I are merging into has really been blessing me and I feel that someone else out there who still may consider themselves a Lone Ranger for Christ could benefit from a topic like this. Here we go!

My church is walking through the Book of Esther so I’ll use the relationship Esther and Mordecai had to exemplify what God ordained community looks like. (Mind you, your community has no specific number attached to it so please do not feel pressure to find a certain number of people to have in your life to be considered “community worthy”.) In the beginning of the book of Esther we read a story involving a reckless king named Ahasuerus, a jealous official named Haman, a beautiful, jewish young Queen named Esther and her father figure Mordecai. The reckless king gives the official immeasurable authority to make all kinds of laws in the province. Because of his hatred for Mordecai, a man after God’s heart and well respected by the king himself, Haman makes orders to have Mordecai executed on top of threatening all of the lives of all of the Jews in the land. Where does Queen Esther come in? Well, she’s forewarned by Mordecai of the edict that has spread in the land and is encouraged to use her position to speak to the King and halt the plans of Haman. Esther is gripped with fear in that moment and we see glimpses of insecurity and self doubt. Mordecai reminds her of her position, reminds her that God is the one who has graced her to be where she is and that this could be the exact reason for it.

Esther is encouraged and decides to fast for 3 days before going before the king. Mordecai and the rest of the kingdom also fast for 3 days alongside her and Esther is ultimately able to petition to the king everything she fears and he orders a stop to the entire edict. Haman is then ordered to be executed in place of Mordecai and everyone is able to exhale again. How does this speak to us having God ordained relationships and good community? When we are connected to community we have access to wise counsel, encouragement in our faith, partnership in prayer, and space to exercise boldness and confidence when life gets scary. You have access to people who see you the way God sees you and pushes you in the direction of better. You have people who can hold you accountable to what God has called you to be in the earth, even when you don’t see it for yourself. Community matters. Isolation in the sense of being a Lone Ranger doesn’t afford you these gifts. Who is there to encourage you when you are down? Who is there to help you make wise decisions for you and your family when you really can’t decide? Who is there to hold you accountable when you fall short? Literally no one but your own voice in your head. It is you who is trying to interpret scripture correctly but have no one to flesh it out with. It is just you and it is not biblical to be this way all of your Christian walk.

Lone Ranger. What does this typically mean? From my view point a Lone Ranger is someone who would rather live a life outside of the company of other Christians…A Christian who doesn’t believe they need anyone to have a real and authentic relationship with God. As an ex-lone ranger I used to think this was a true statement. I can confidently share now that it is yet another lie from the enemy and it can do more harm than good in the long run. I want to be clear, I am not referring to the seasons of isolation that God may require us to go through. That is altogether a different blog post. This is strictly for the people who think living their whole lives with just them and God and no one else is something that is okay to do as a believer. As tough as it was for me to come to this conclusion, I want to hold your virtual hand when I say this… “You need people in this walk with Christ.”

Of course this topic begs for us to flesh out some of the reasons people adopt this Lone Ranger mentality. Some prefer to live this way because they’ve been hurt by someone or a group of people they’ve previously trusted. Some prefer to live this way because they believe their relationship with God has certain nuances to it that only they and God understand. Some people prefer to live this way because they naturally don’t like people in their space or in their business so they keep their distance on purpose. Whatever the rationale, it may feel comfortable but it isn’t what God wants for you. In scripture, we see loads of relationships and community examples that inspire us. People like David and Jonathan, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and his disciples, Ruth and Naomi, Esther and Mordecai, Paul and Timothy… the list can go on. The stories behind these relationships have been God ordained and therefore necessary to the building of the early church and the body of Christ as a whole. We glean from these stories and learn many lessons.

With that said, I pose the question to you— why do you reject community if you see so many powerful examples of God ordained relationships? This is the same question I had to ask myself. My answer was because I developed trust issues. I think it’s important to state that just because you have longevity with people doesn’t mean the relationships are God ordained. For instance, you could have the same friend in your life since kindergarten and though you are close with them, God still may not have blessed that friendship for you and your walk in Christ. Better yet, your long term friend could have grown up in church with you but even that doesn’t warrant them God’s blessing to walk with you in life. Does that give you a reason to isolate yourself and reject all relationships that may come around in the future? No. In my view, every relationship we encounter should be measured by scripture and led by the Holy Spirit. In my case, I thought the longevity I had with people warranted the assumption that I had my “Jonathan” or my “Mordecai” as a friend. It wasn’t until I began to measure them up against scripture that I was able to let go and rebuild the community that would inspire me in the ways that I knew God would want me to be inspired by.

So we’ve touched on what healthy community looks like through the relationship of Esther and Mordecai but what does unhealthy community look like? Let’s look at David and King Saul. In short, King Saul was appointed by God to be king of the Israelites because it was a request that the Israelites kept petitioning for. Once Saul was appointed, he later encountered David and they became a force to be reckoned with. Some years later, King Saul’s respect for David would grow tremendously until Saul disobeyed the instruction of God through the prophet Samuel and lost both his anointing and God’s covering over his life. When Samuel told Saul who God has chosen in his place as king of Israel, that being David, the shift happens. We see jealousy, rage, envy and hatred envelope Saul so much toward David, that he begins to figure out ways to end his life. I am not saying that in community, real emotions and tests do not happen that are meant to grow us…what I am saying is that at no point is it God’s will for us to be inside the body of Christ destroying or planning to destroy one another. Community is meant to stretch us, grow us naturally and spiritually, encourage us, develop us and help sanctify us through the work of the Holy Spirit. If you have friends who cannot stand to see you win, you are in unhealthy community. If you are surrounded by people who only bring you news that discourages your spirit, breeds resentment toward other people, or anything counteractive to how God wants us to live than you are in unhealthy community.

The story of King Saul and David has many lessons we can draw out of but as it relates to community, we must be vigilant. I want to point out that sometimes we all can’t run like David did and hide from Saul’s anger toward him but what we can do is do what Jesus did to Judas. He loved him even though he knew what his plans were the whole time. Jesus ate, slept, ministered and poured into people day in and day out with Judas not too far away from him. He looked at him every day. He taught him the same as he taught the rest of the disciples. He did not create a city of space between them because he knew what Judas would ultimately do. For those of us who don’t have the luxury to move away or completely separate from those who intend to hurt them, look at Jesus and be led in love. It is easier said than done, I know. But the enemy counts on you becoming distraught. The enemy counts on you focusing on the troubled water surrounding you instead of the work the Lord has for you to do in that moment. Do not be moved. Not all of Jesus’ disciples were full of Judas characteristics. It was only one. Therefore, be encouraged. The majority of our communities should be healthy in nature. Even when we are tested and tried by one another, we have biblical instruction on how to handle it (Matthew 5:23-24 and Matthew 18:15-17) .

We are NOT given instruction or license to live this Christian walk alone. A season of isolation is just that— a season. We don’t even get a lot of those, it seems like the Lord calls for those kind of seasons sparingly. So we have no excuse not to live in community. We have no excuse to live like we have reasonable justification for being lone rangers in God. If you are a Lone Ranger, you are technically not a part of the BODY OF CHRIST. What makes up a persons body? A multitude of organs, ligaments, veins, cells, systems etc. and they are all covered in blood. The blood carries the oxygen that helps to keep everything viable. In this conversation, who is the body of Christ? Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ and chose Him as our Lord and Savior. Whose blood is giving us viability to work together so that the body continues to function? Christ Jesus. So where does a Lone Ranger mentality or lifestyle apply to the operating of the body of Christ? NO WHERE.

I hope this blog blessed you and I hope that I was able to communicate my point accurately. Please comment down below and let me know your thoughts, as always. Until next post, God bless you!

The Hannah Way

Hey Readers! I didn’t plan to have waited so long before posting my next blog entry but I’m happy to be here today to continue doing what I enjoy the most which is writing. I recently endured some heavy news that I wanted to begin documenting it here. I believe this experience will be one that God will get the most glory out of my life with so I would be foolish not to incorporate it in the whole purpose of why I created my site. This platform is meant to encourage people about why it is safe to trust in the true and living God. I asked myself why would I ever withhold something so real and vulnerable when I know that everything that I go through and will go through has the opportunity to set someone else free? After pondering for about a week, I’m here. Let’s get into it.

On May 19th, 2025 I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. My diagnosis was not given to me in a doctor’s office but in a hospital bed. To catch you up on the process, my husband and I had been trying to grow our family for about 2 1/2 years. Month after month we became diligent in tracking my ovulation days with tests and kits. We planned everything as best we could and gathered as much professional advice about how to get pregnant naturally from my doctor when we lived in Texas but we still had no luck. Fast forward to our move to Michigan, we continued to have high hopes in having our baby because we started to see more doors open for us here. My husband landed an amazing job, I was able to carry my job with us through the move, we paid off our debts, joined an incredible church community, started businesses and kicked off our journey to homeownership. What else could go right in this moment?!

We just knew that one day soon we’d get that positive pregnancy test because we were growing even more financial stable. Yet and still, month after month goes by with no baby news to celebrate. We finally had the conversation of giving this matter official medical attention. My husband went to get tested and his results came back negative for any fertility issues. Next it was my turn. I had a couple of conversations over the phone with fertility specialists about the different procedures they often take to examine fertility for women and none of them were anything I wanted to go through. They were all invasive and I became fearful. I set an appointment for one procedure and then cancelled it two weeks before I was due to go in. My husband understood my nerves and left the decision up to me. I decided to keep trying naturally and made a deal that if I wasn’t pregnant by my 29th birthday, I would reschedule the appointment to get examined.

We tried and still there was no baby. My birthday came and went, still no baby. By our third year wedding anniversary, I started to feel like I was wasting time. I’d look at my husband and notice that if anyone deserved answers about the possibility of parenthood, it was him. He’d always been extremely patient with me and understanding about how much my body will go through regardless of if I had a baby naturally or with medical help so he never pushed me one way or the other. I thought about it night after night and said to myself “Just do it dyah. Your whole pregnancy experience is going to be scary, you can get through an examination.” I was due to get my annual exam so I made the appointment with my Gynecologist and told my husband. The appointment came and I talked about everything all over again with my new doctor and she suggested I make an appointment to get a vaginal ultrasound done.

On the day of my ultrasound, my reproductive organs were examined. In the room, she showed me pictures of my fallopian tubes. My left one looked normal but my right one looked a bit deformed. She suggested that there may be fluid inside of it and that she’d like to do one of two things in order to get a better idea of what is going on. The first option I had was to have a procedure where she’d push a liquid dye through my vaginal canal and watch it how it flows up into my reproductive organs (much like sperm would) to see what happens when it reaches my fallopian tubes. Will the dye pass through indicating that there were no potential blockages or would it stop passing through at a certain point indicating that there was? From that point she could give me further choices. The second option I had was to go through a surgical procedure where she would be able to perform the tubal dye study and immediately rectify the situation all in one fell swoop. Her thoughts were that my right fallopian tube may be hindering my chances of pregnancy because of the fluid she saw sitting inside of it. In the case of any other abnormality, she recommended removal of the right tube to increase my chances. I was frozen with fear. My first thought was never to side with surgery. She gave me time to think about my next move and sent me home.

I left the office overwhelmed. I sent a voice message to my husband who was at work and then I called my sister and cried. She comforted me in that moment enough for me to start the car and head back home. I took the rest of the day off from work. My husband responds with empathy and says we’ll talk more in depth when we gets home. I took a nap. That night, we fleshed out every possible option from beginning to end, weighed the pros and cons and decided that the surgery would be the best choice. The next day I called my doctor and she began scheduling my surgery date for the month of May. Throughout the days and weeks, I thought about everything. I felt all of the emotions but I knew this was what I had to do if I wanted to be a Mother one day. This was my journey. We let the rest of our families know and everyone met us with comforting words and support. Dependent on how my family took the news, it helped me to not cancel my appointment. Everyone had great perspective and temperament so it prompted me to look at the surgery like a minor bump in the road.

My grandmother made arrangements to be with us during the procedure as well. Everything felt like it was going to be okay. I prayed and told God that if this is how I am to journey into motherhood, let His will be done. I followed all of the necessary steps and precautions to prepare my body for surgery. The night before surgery, my sister in law anointed and prayed over me. The morning of, I cleansed my body with antibacterial soap and put on loose fitted clothing. On our way to the hospital, my husband played worship music to help me remain calm and remind me that God is in the midst of all of this. My dad got on the phone and prayed for me, my grandfather prayed for me and by the time I got to the room where I’d await my doctor right before my procedure, I felt like I was floating on a thousand prayers. My church family was praying for me, my husband was praying for me, my family was praying for me… I couldn’t worry even if I wanted to. I literally felt like the Lord was holding my heart in his hand so that it wouldn’t beat out of my chest. For instance, I fear needles, but I didn’t flinch with my IV or anything. I just felt kept.

My husband and grandmother later joined me and we all discussed the final plan with my doctor. I met my anesthesiologist and told him to “Load me up doc! Don’t you be afraid!” That made him laugh. We all laughed in that waiting area the whole time. My grandmother brought fun to a gray situation for sure. We probably waited back there in total for about 35min. By the time I was ready for surgery, the anesthesiologist put my “cocktail” into my IV and the last thing I remembered was getting moved from my gurney to the operating table. After that, darkness. My surgery lasted about an hour and forty five minutes. I vaguely remember the moments straight out of surgery but my husband said I was being silly. From what I do remember, I kept asking if everything went well but I didn’t really get an answer. My grandmother said I spoke to my mom on the phone and cried with her about how happy I was that I did it and that I was gonna be a mommy. She cried with me too. I remember feeling like something was wrong though because my husband wasn’t really celebrating with me. I asked him if they had to take both of my tubes out instead of just the one and he said “no…” but that was all he said. After that, I don’t remember much until we got back to our hotel room where we booked to spend the next few days of my recovery.

I asked my husband and grandmother what happened because I know something’s wrong. My grandmother didn’t think it was her place to tell me so she looked at my husband. He looked at me. I asked again “what happened?” He went on to share that my doctor couldn’t remove my right fallopian tube. I thought that was strange so I asked why not. He told me that she called him from the operating room and said that there were layers and layers of scar tissue completely covering my tubes so much that she couldn’t get to them. She went on to say that she scraped what she could but it was too deep to continue and that she was sorry but I have a severe case of endometriosis. I felt a numbness wash over my entire body. The surgery I expected to get couldn’t even be performed because something worse was going on. In that moment, they both saw me almost lose color and immediately started comforting me. Endometriosis was not curable and if left too long, it can evolve into cancer. Unfortunately, my grandmother’s sister had passed away from this kind of cancer a few years back. And now I have this same disease. I cried.

As I’m healing, more family come visit me and help get my mind off of things. The healing process wasn’t too bad. I had all of the pain medicine I could take and my husband made sure I was on a schedule taking them on time. I slept a lot and when I wasn’t asleep, I was in my head about how things are going to turn out for me. Will I be a mom? Will I be okay if I never experience motherhood naturally? These were things I’d pray about. I had family members also call and offer to carry our baby if it came down to it as well so that made me both laugh and feel supported. It was the thought that counted. I asked my husband if the doctor said there was anything wrong with my uterus but he said no. My uterus is 100% capable of carrying our baby when the time comes. Fast forward to my post operative appointment two weeks later. On June 2nd, 2025 my husband and I walked into the doctor’s office together with our minds set on what our next steps will be and also hopeful to receive more clarification about what all happened in the surgery. My doctor came prepared with pictures and explanations.

In short, she said my case of endometriosis completely has my pelvic organs frozen in place with the scar tissue almost acting as the glue that is holding them all together. The uterus, fallopian tubes, colon, etc. should all essentially be hanging loosely in their perspective spaces but they are all balled up into one space together and wrapped in the endometriosis. She went on to say that she bent one of her surgical tools trying to see if she could push through any area at all and she wasn’t able to. I had no words to say in this moment. This severity implied that I had endometriosis for years upon years and had no idea. I could have had this since puberty even but there’s no way to tell. I’ve never had any off the wall symptoms and my menstrual cycle has always been regular. I’ve never gotten an abnormal Pap smear or anything either so how else was I to know? My husband sat in the chair in the corner of the room just soaking in all of the information. I could see him pondering and it was like I could see him sorting out his thoughts and coming up with a plan. My doctor turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do next because she has options but doesn’t know how to read me right now.

I simply looked at my husband, he at me, and I said “We want a baby.” She smiled and nodded towards me with such support and began running down our options. She prescribed me a medication to begin taking that will slow down and essentially begin to clear up as much of the disease as it can. Simultaneously, she will be scheduling me meetings with specialists and getting me in touch with teams at the U of M Hospital about what they are able to offer me based on my case and whether it will be another surgery or if they recommend we look straight into IVF because the tubes aren’t going to work in our favor.

My husband and I walked out of our appointment feeling supported, optimistic, hopeful and still holding onto our faith in God. We believe that though our journey to parenthood will look a little different than those of our friends and family, we still believe that God will bless us. My thoughts about all of this is that God will give us a testimony to run around the world sharing. I spoke with a few older women within my church community and found that some of them were diagnosed with endometriosis as well and they were still blessed with multiple biological children. These women had 2 and 3 kids each when they were my age. It was inspiring. They laid hands on me and pray and for my womb. I feel better than wonder woman right now. There’s no way the Lord would give me women in my life who share this same experience and they all have success stories. He knew I’d need these women. And I do. This helps me to further see His goodness in my life. He has been preparing this moment for me to step into and provided me continued covering and wisdom to surround me. I am encouraged by people that only He knew would get it. Each of these women deposit great things into my life and marriage on a regular day, how much more will the Lord allow them to dispense in me this season? I look forward to finding out.

And for you all, I pray my journey becomes something powerful and like Hannah’s child became one of the most influential men of God in the Bible, I pray the child the Lord gives me will be the same for their generation. My dad pointed Hannah out to me one day on a phone call so I felt it was appropriate to title this journey “The Hannah Way” because she was faithful in prayer and service to God for a child despite her barrenness. The Lord heard her. He opened her womb, gave her a son and in turn, she gave him back to God. These are my intentions as well. There is reason for everything we go through and for the enemy to silently attack my womb for years and I not know about it, there is purpose and plan for the child who is meant to be born through it. I am excited to share with you all every step. Thank you for being here. Until next entry, God bless you!

** Please feel free to utilize the comment section as well! I enjoyed reading your comments last time!

My Story

Hey readers! I wanted to spearhead these blogs with the reason I am doing all of this. I won’t draw it out but it is important for those who may not know me and will stumble onto my website.

My name is Rahdyah, very clearly stated of course but it’s polite to properly introduce myself. Jesus Christ has always been a part of my foundation but as I grew, I remember adopting the belief that I could only get to Jesus if someone else helped me. My parents never taught me that but it was just how I thought I could get His attention. In church, week after week I would pray, shout, dance and go home. I experienced the Holy Spirit for the first time at 11 and I grew in the knowledge of spiritual warfare at a Apostolic church lead by Apostle Bruce C. Lester Sr. He taught me many things about prayer, fasting, warfare and living right before God. I still call him my grandfather to this day.

As you can imagine, with all of this good teaching, how could I surmise a thought like that? … looking back now I know it was insecurity and little faith. But it held onto me until I was about 17 or 18 years old. I always preferred to pray in big groups because that’s where the Lord’s spirit would show up. Subconsciously I adopted the mentality that I may not be important enough for God to hear my individual prayers. Even though I’d pray alone, I wouldn’t feel anything and that led me to believe that God wasn’t there. Until one night, I lay in my bed sobbing about not understanding my purpose. Tears clouded my vision and all I felt like doing was talking to God about it because I didn’t feel like I could pour out onto anyone else who would just let me talk. I remember getting out of bed, balling myself up on the floor with my knees touching my chest and my head bowed. Without any words, I cried into the palms of my hands. The time surpasses my memory but I know that it was late in the night. I mustered up the courage to say just a few words… “Lord I need your help, can you just let me know you’re at least hearing me?”.

In seconds, the Holy Spirit walked into my room. I felt Him. It was as if He just opened my bedroom door, walked in, and said “I am listening”. A cool and comforting breeze blanketed my body. It was weighty, it was pleasant, it was God. The muscles in my body relaxed; I didn’t even know I was so tense. I began crying even more. He heard me, He sees me, I am not insignificant. His presence sat with me for the remainder of that time and before I knew it, I wasn’t crying anymore. Suddenly, I had so much to be thankful for. My brain felt like it was going a mile a minute with all of the things, I couldn’t say it out loud fast enough. When I said everything I could think to say, I sat up and leaned against the wall facing my bed. It felt like He was sitting on the edge of my bed the whole time comforting me. I sat in that dark room with a smile in my heart and on my face and uttered the last words “thank you for being here with me Lord.” Slowly I got back into bed and pulled the covers over my shoulders. I had the best night of sleep.

With this story and the many others that I have experienced with God are what I hope to inspire other people with. I pray to be able to pray with people, love on people and share the good news about who God is. He’s not a monster, He’s not a dictator, He’s not imaginary. God is real. Jesus is real. The Holy Spirit is real. He is safe to trust because He is always there. He just knows what we need in the times that we need it. Since that first encounter, I made up in my heart that no matter what I go through, I can go to God about it. As I enter my 30s, I just know that God wants more from me and wants to do more through me to help other people understand just how good He really is. Thank you again for being here! I pray that you find something here that will bless you.

Until next blog, I’ll see you soon.

Welcome!

Welcome to my website! I’m super grateful to have a space to house all of what I love to do and speak about in one place. If you followed me about five years ago, I had a previous website where I started blogging and it was my first platform to be able to do so. Fast forward to today, I’ve established a home again and I can’t be more excited to expound on the many topics surrounding this faith walk and what it looks like from a closer perspective. Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to be the first person to do something instead of being the person who helped support a thing. I am not the first Christian blogger. I am not the first woman who chose to share vulnerability in a public way… but I support those who do and I chose to come alongside them. I’m throwing my hat in the game. I’m stepping out with my hand raised to God shouting “Don’t do it without me!” If you love to read, I pray this blog blesses you. If you are inspired by me simply making a move and glorifying God in it, I pray you stay and grow with me. Either way it goes, know that it just takes one move from us for God to have something to bless. There is no right time to start or to reinvent so do it now. Thank you for being here!