The Hannah Way

Hey Readers! I didn’t plan to have waited so long before posting my next blog entry but I’m happy to be here today to continue doing what I enjoy the most which is writing. I recently endured some heavy news that I wanted to begin documenting it here. I believe this experience will be one that God will get the most glory out of my life with so I would be foolish not to incorporate it in the whole purpose of why I created my site. This platform is meant to encourage people about why it is safe to trust in the true and living God. I asked myself why would I ever withhold something so real and vulnerable when I know that everything that I go through and will go through has the opportunity to set someone else free? After pondering for about a week, I’m here. Let’s get into it.

On May 19th, 2025 I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. My diagnosis was not given to me in a doctor’s office but in a hospital bed. To catch you up on the process, my husband and I had been trying to grow our family for about 2 1/2 years. Month after month we became diligent in tracking my ovulation days with tests and kits. We planned everything as best we could and gathered as much professional advice about how to get pregnant naturally from my doctor when we lived in Texas but we still had no luck. Fast forward to our move to Michigan, we continued to have high hopes in having our baby because we started to see more doors open for us here. My husband landed an amazing job, I was able to carry my job with us through the move, we paid off our debts, joined an incredible church community, started businesses and kicked off our journey to homeownership. What else could go right in this moment?!

We just knew that one day soon we’d get that positive pregnancy test because we were growing even more financial stable. Yet and still, month after month goes by with no baby news to celebrate. We finally had the conversation of giving this matter official medical attention. My husband went to get tested and his results came back negative for any fertility issues. Next it was my turn. I had a couple of conversations over the phone with fertility specialists about the different procedures they often take to examine fertility for women and none of them were anything I wanted to go through. They were all invasive and I became fearful. I set an appointment for one procedure and then cancelled it two weeks before I was due to go in. My husband understood my nerves and left the decision up to me. I decided to keep trying naturally and made a deal that if I wasn’t pregnant by my 29th birthday, I would reschedule the appointment to get examined.

We tried and still there was no baby. My birthday came and went, still no baby. By our third year wedding anniversary, I started to feel like I was wasting time. I’d look at my husband and notice that if anyone deserved answers about the possibility of parenthood, it was him. He’d always been extremely patient with me and understanding about how much my body will go through regardless of if I had a baby naturally or with medical help so he never pushed me one way or the other. I thought about it night after night and said to myself “Just do it dyah. Your whole pregnancy experience is going to be scary, you can get through an examination.” I was due to get my annual exam so I made the appointment with my Gynecologist and told my husband. The appointment came and I talked about everything all over again with my new doctor and she suggested I make an appointment to get a vaginal ultrasound done.

On the day of my ultrasound, my reproductive organs were examined. In the room, she showed me pictures of my fallopian tubes. My left one looked normal but my right one looked a bit deformed. She suggested that there may be fluid inside of it and that she’d like to do one of two things in order to get a better idea of what is going on. The first option I had was to have a procedure where she’d push a liquid dye through my vaginal canal and watch it how it flows up into my reproductive organs (much like sperm would) to see what happens when it reaches my fallopian tubes. Will the dye pass through indicating that there were no potential blockages or would it stop passing through at a certain point indicating that there was? From that point she could give me further choices. The second option I had was to go through a surgical procedure where she would be able to perform the tubal dye study and immediately rectify the situation all in one fell swoop. Her thoughts were that my right fallopian tube may be hindering my chances of pregnancy because of the fluid she saw sitting inside of it. In the case of any other abnormality, she recommended removal of the right tube to increase my chances. I was frozen with fear. My first thought was never to side with surgery. She gave me time to think about my next move and sent me home.

I left the office overwhelmed. I sent a voice message to my husband who was at work and then I called my sister and cried. She comforted me in that moment enough for me to start the car and head back home. I took the rest of the day off from work. My husband responds with empathy and says we’ll talk more in depth when we gets home. I took a nap. That night, we fleshed out every possible option from beginning to end, weighed the pros and cons and decided that the surgery would be the best choice. The next day I called my doctor and she began scheduling my surgery date for the month of May. Throughout the days and weeks, I thought about everything. I felt all of the emotions but I knew this was what I had to do if I wanted to be a Mother one day. This was my journey. We let the rest of our families know and everyone met us with comforting words and support. Dependent on how my family took the news, it helped me to not cancel my appointment. Everyone had great perspective and temperament so it prompted me to look at the surgery like a minor bump in the road.

My grandmother made arrangements to be with us during the procedure as well. Everything felt like it was going to be okay. I prayed and told God that if this is how I am to journey into motherhood, let His will be done. I followed all of the necessary steps and precautions to prepare my body for surgery. The night before surgery, my sister in law anointed and prayed over me. The morning of, I cleansed my body with antibacterial soap and put on loose fitted clothing. On our way to the hospital, my husband played worship music to help me remain calm and remind me that God is in the midst of all of this. My dad got on the phone and prayed for me, my grandfather prayed for me and by the time I got to the room where I’d await my doctor right before my procedure, I felt like I was floating on a thousand prayers. My church family was praying for me, my husband was praying for me, my family was praying for me… I couldn’t worry even if I wanted to. I literally felt like the Lord was holding my heart in his hand so that it wouldn’t beat out of my chest. For instance, I fear needles, but I didn’t flinch with my IV or anything. I just felt kept.

My husband and grandmother later joined me and we all discussed the final plan with my doctor. I met my anesthesiologist and told him to “Load me up doc! Don’t you be afraid!” That made him laugh. We all laughed in that waiting area the whole time. My grandmother brought fun to a gray situation for sure. We probably waited back there in total for about 35min. By the time I was ready for surgery, the anesthesiologist put my “cocktail” into my IV and the last thing I remembered was getting moved from my gurney to the operating table. After that, darkness. My surgery lasted about an hour and forty five minutes. I vaguely remember the moments straight out of surgery but my husband said I was being silly. From what I do remember, I kept asking if everything went well but I didn’t really get an answer. My grandmother said I spoke to my mom on the phone and cried with her about how happy I was that I did it and that I was gonna be a mommy. She cried with me too. I remember feeling like something was wrong though because my husband wasn’t really celebrating with me. I asked him if they had to take both of my tubes out instead of just the one and he said “no…” but that was all he said. After that, I don’t remember much until we got back to our hotel room where we booked to spend the next few days of my recovery.

I asked my husband and grandmother what happened because I know something’s wrong. My grandmother didn’t think it was her place to tell me so she looked at my husband. He looked at me. I asked again “what happened?” He went on to share that my doctor couldn’t remove my right fallopian tube. I thought that was strange so I asked why not. He told me that she called him from the operating room and said that there were layers and layers of scar tissue completely covering my tubes so much that she couldn’t get to them. She went on to say that she scraped what she could but it was too deep to continue and that she was sorry but I have a severe case of endometriosis. I felt a numbness wash over my entire body. The surgery I expected to get couldn’t even be performed because something worse was going on. In that moment, they both saw me almost lose color and immediately started comforting me. Endometriosis was not curable and if left too long, it can evolve into cancer. Unfortunately, my grandmother’s sister had passed away from this kind of cancer a few years back. And now I have this same disease. I cried.

As I’m healing, more family come visit me and help get my mind off of things. The healing process wasn’t too bad. I had all of the pain medicine I could take and my husband made sure I was on a schedule taking them on time. I slept a lot and when I wasn’t asleep, I was in my head about how things are going to turn out for me. Will I be a mom? Will I be okay if I never experience motherhood naturally? These were things I’d pray about. I had family members also call and offer to carry our baby if it came down to it as well so that made me both laugh and feel supported. It was the thought that counted. I asked my husband if the doctor said there was anything wrong with my uterus but he said no. My uterus is 100% capable of carrying our baby when the time comes. Fast forward to my post operative appointment two weeks later. On June 2nd, 2025 my husband and I walked into the doctor’s office together with our minds set on what our next steps will be and also hopeful to receive more clarification about what all happened in the surgery. My doctor came prepared with pictures and explanations.

In short, she said my case of endometriosis completely has my pelvic organs frozen in place with the scar tissue almost acting as the glue that is holding them all together. The uterus, fallopian tubes, colon, etc. should all essentially be hanging loosely in their perspective spaces but they are all balled up into one space together and wrapped in the endometriosis. She went on to say that she bent one of her surgical tools trying to see if she could push through any area at all and she wasn’t able to. I had no words to say in this moment. This severity implied that I had endometriosis for years upon years and had no idea. I could have had this since puberty even but there’s no way to tell. I’ve never had any off the wall symptoms and my menstrual cycle has always been regular. I’ve never gotten an abnormal Pap smear or anything either so how else was I to know? My husband sat in the chair in the corner of the room just soaking in all of the information. I could see him pondering and it was like I could see him sorting out his thoughts and coming up with a plan. My doctor turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do next because she has options but doesn’t know how to read me right now.

I simply looked at my husband, he at me, and I said “We want a baby.” She smiled and nodded towards me with such support and began running down our options. She prescribed me a medication to begin taking that will slow down and essentially begin to clear up as much of the disease as it can. Simultaneously, she will be scheduling me meetings with specialists and getting me in touch with teams at the U of M Hospital about what they are able to offer me based on my case and whether it will be another surgery or if they recommend we look straight into IVF because the tubes aren’t going to work in our favor.

My husband and I walked out of our appointment feeling supported, optimistic, hopeful and still holding onto our faith in God. We believe that though our journey to parenthood will look a little different than those of our friends and family, we still believe that God will bless us. My thoughts about all of this is that God will give us a testimony to run around the world sharing. I spoke with a few older women within my church community and found that some of them were diagnosed with endometriosis as well and they were still blessed with multiple biological children. These women had 2 and 3 kids each when they were my age. It was inspiring. They laid hands on me and pray and for my womb. I feel better than wonder woman right now. There’s no way the Lord would give me women in my life who share this same experience and they all have success stories. He knew I’d need these women. And I do. This helps me to further see His goodness in my life. He has been preparing this moment for me to step into and provided me continued covering and wisdom to surround me. I am encouraged by people that only He knew would get it. Each of these women deposit great things into my life and marriage on a regular day, how much more will the Lord allow them to dispense in me this season? I look forward to finding out.

And for you all, I pray my journey becomes something powerful and like Hannah’s child became one of the most influential men of God in the Bible, I pray the child the Lord gives me will be the same for their generation. My dad pointed Hannah out to me one day on a phone call so I felt it was appropriate to title this journey “The Hannah Way” because she was faithful in prayer and service to God for a child despite her barrenness. The Lord heard her. He opened her womb, gave her a son and in turn, she gave him back to God. These are my intentions as well. There is reason for everything we go through and for the enemy to silently attack my womb for years and I not know about it, there is purpose and plan for the child who is meant to be born through it. I am excited to share with you all every step. Thank you for being here. Until next entry, God bless you!

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