Updated: Oct 14
Good early morning readers! I wanted to free write on the topic of Expectations. Let's jump right on in!
Expectation- to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of.
This isn't a blog entry meant to discourage people about setting and enjoying the aftermath surrounding expectations. This blog entry is meant to enlighten those who may be unaware about the differences between what is even more fulfilling for you, the atmosphere you create when you walk into a room, your environment etc. and what may not be.
Their are healthy and unhealthy expectations that we as people can have in life. You see couples overjoyed at the expectation of a child coming into the world. You see people elated at the expectation of the new job opportunity presented to them, the new business venture, the new life solidified when the ink drys on the paper for a brand new house etc.
Great and healthy prosperity (in every sense of the word) of a persons life can and will truly make them glow; however, it is important we understand how to better identify when we are setting healthy or unhealthy expectations for ourselves.
Let's Get Started
For starters, in my opinion, their is one huge unhealthy cycle of expectations that we as human beings tend to feed into and that is the expectation of one another and ourselves. I don't care if it's family members, romantic relationships, business relationships, friendships or if you are just satisfied and single. Their is always a disappointment that comes when you put unrealistic expectations on another person/yourself.
I'm no expert but it doesn't take science to figure out that a human is just a human. In life it is evident everywhere that humans are interchangeable and ever evolving beings. We have moods, we go through career changes, we have traumatic experiences, we slip up, and we make mistakes sometimes. It just happens. The problem isn't the mess up or the career change. The problem is the unhealthy expectation often set beforehand about something without the possibility or the room for change/mistakes.
Think about it
Over and over again we hear and sometimes even experience the stories about a girl/guy falling in love with someone special and then years later they break up because he/she wasn't the person they thought they were gonna be for them. At the end of those stories or that conversation is always the burning question of: Did you go into the relationship with the expectation that they would be everything you thought they could be for you or did you truly love them for who they were? ... The breakup in itself could be a multitude of things worth having a discussion but the disappointment gained leverage the minute the expectation of a "perfect" love was set.
This kind of unhealthy expectation exists in just about every situation we can think of concerning anything human. How many times did your parents/guardians drill their expectations into your head about what you are to be.. only for you to grow up nothing like that? How many business meetings did you have or contracts have you signed on the written promises of another persons word to you? When they chose to bow out of the deal or change how they'd attack the tasks, how did you feel?
This is why the Bible tell us to "Trust in the Lord with all of our heart....in all thy ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths" (reference Proverbs 3:5-6). Christ is the only person we should fully trust with everything. He orchestrates and sends people into our lives to fulfill the will He has set before us; but not at the expense that we stop leaning on Him for direction. You hear a lot in the christian community that people have to stop worshiping the creation and begin worshiping the Creator. I truly believe in this. It's so detrimental to our lives when we lose sight of the reason for a thing.
When we as humans take into our control the things that God has developed to build us up, we in turn tear ourselves down. Christ says "My burden is easy and My yoke is light. (reference Matthew 11:30) He meant that. He has things for us to go through that will be difficult but He didn't intend for us to go through these things alone and without a purpose. With Christ we can do ALL things. (reference Philippians 4:13) We overcome ALL things. We claim the victory over ALL things.
With Christ, you can EXPECT to win.
- You may have just gotten fired at your job but you can walk away with an EXPECTATION that something better is on the way.
- You could have just gotten dumped and your heart could have been torn apart but you can wake up the following morning with the EXPECTATION that God's love for you overshadows and heals heart break.
- Your child could have surrounded themselves with wrong influences and getting into trouble but you can turn your worry around with the EXPECTATION that God is in control of their safety.
A healthy expectation is always rooted and can always be found in the knowledge of and relationship with Christ. Their is no lying, no cheating, no backbiting, no manipulation, two faced or fraudulence with Christ Jesus. If He made a promise to you, He will keep it. It doesn't matter what the situation looks like in your life, God will see you through to the promise. It is time we begin trusting God again with our whole hearts. It's not enough to give God a corner of our heart and reserve the rest for other people and things. We are to give our whole hearts to Him and He will give us the resources, the ideas, the right business partners, the right spouse etc.
Acts 17:28 says "For in Him we live and move and have our being; as some of our poets have said, 'we are His offspring'." Wouldn't it be great to just live? Living is thriving, it's finding joy in the little things and discovering gratitude for every lesson in life. Acts is a book in the Bible showcasing the movement, progression and elevation of God's people and the spreading of the Christian church. It's literally the definition of it's title. These people were Being. They were being because they had trust in God's word. Their expectations of victory became greater than the trials they faced because the apostles were obedient to God's plan.
Don't you want to stop existing and just BE? ... I know I do.
This entry isn't as long of a read as my others but I've been dealing with this for a few weeks now. Instead of writing what sounds or feels good to me in certain moments, I always wanna make sure I'm not just writing to write but that I'm actually saying something. It's not wrong to expect great things for yourself or for the people around you but we mustn't rely on the outcome if things don't work out our way. Their is a much bigger plan that exceeds every expectation man could ever have. God's plans are so much greater.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." (reference Isaiah 55:8-9)