• Rahdyah Renee

Can You Smell Your Flowers?

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog! I was so happy to hear and see you all enjoyed last week's blog. I'm also excited to see that some of you signed up for the newsletter. I appreciate each and every reader!

Okay, for tonight's blog, I wanted to get realistic and really zone in on the importance of relationships and forgiveness. As we all know, we are witnessing unfortunate events all over the world due to Covid-19. This pandemic has really hit home for most of us in many ways; some people have already lost family members and loved ones while others are literally laid up in hospitals fighting for their lives. Let's not forget to mention the many people who can't even afford to get help. I wanted to elaborate on forgiveness a bit tonight because whether many of us want to accept it or not, one day our time will be upon earth also. So let's just dive in...

I originally planned to talk about something different tonight but the topic quickly changed when I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine who told me about a family member recently taken into the hospital due to the Covid-19 pandemic. To make a long story short, while allowing her to release, I not only heard the fear in her voice but I also heard the fear in her heart. The many things she wishes to be able to say just in case things take a turn for the worse. My heart ached just listening to her words. This sparked the conversation we are having tonight. Although this is a very general topic, it is heavy and it is challenging.

Relationships come in all different forms (Parental, Sibling, Romantic, Friendly, etc.) In whatever category you relate to, you cannot deny that the relationship itself has aided in the change(s) you see in yourself today in some way including the relationship we have with ourselves. We can all agree that the more you are around someone or a collective group of people, the closer the bond or attachment forms between you and them (positive or negative). Whether it is specific mannerisms you've learned from being close to your mother or an unhealthy habit you picked up from a group of friends in your childhood, it has had an effect on you consciously or sub-consciously. We won't even get into romantic relationships because that's a whole new blog conversation...but I trust you get the point I'm making. People and life events impact us more than we think.

While we are stationary right now in different parts of the world, I encourage every reader to become aware of who has had an impact in your life. Who can you say has helped shape you? What memories do you share with them? In what compartment of your heart do you hold them closely? Better yet, do they even have a spot in your heart? Did they create an environment of hostility or trauma for you? ... I recently watched an interview of a young man (I cannot find his name to reference it..I apologize) who brought up a great point about family and relationships. He suggested "...during this time of Covid-19, families should begin to handle 'family business'." I agree. This is a time where we are faced with seeing one another more than normal; now that we have less time to overlook and procrastinate certain topics of conversation that make us feel weird, uncomfortable or "mushy" (hehehe) ... let's begin to have them. Tell that person/people how much you love and appreciate them; express to that person(s) how much they hurt you when they didn't keep their promise to you; Share with that person the very thing you were scared or embarrassed to share. If there ever was a moment, this is your moment.

We talked about confrontation in last week's blog entry, this is an opportunity to do these things. Although it may seem easier said than done, it is not impossible. I almost want to apply pressure to this because much like my friend's situation with her loved one, it was immediate. She couldn't calculate when her loved one was going to be in a hospital bed. These things are never known. An experience similar has happened to me personally as well with my father last year in 2019. My father and I were home, I left the house to go grab some food and when I got back, he wasn't there. I thought nothing of it at first but when he didn't come home, I was worried. I got the phone call the next day saying he was in the hospital with blood clots in his lungs. He was knocking on death's door. I almost lost my mind at the thought of not having him anymore! BUT because of the healing power of God, he was released after a week and able to fully function again.....My question to you is "Would you want to carry around something you've always wanted to say to someone with you forever? Even if it's just a simple "I love you?"

Forgiveness- To cease to feel resentment against; To give up all claim on account of.

The next thing I wanted to touch on of course goes hand in hand with the relationships talk and that is Forgiveness. I think wherever there is pain, there is also room for forgiveness. One of the greatest examples I like to revert to aside from Christ praying to God the Father for forgiveness on behalf of his persecutors is the story of Joseph in the Bible. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers because of jealousy! Years and years went by before he saw them again and when he did, he was instantly reminded of everything they did to him. He was so full of anger. Can you imagine that kind of betrayal by your own blood? Now, the bible doesn't talk about this specifically but I personally imagine him carrying that weight in the back of his mind. I imagine his nights being long and his pain being unbearable at times. Eventually, Joseph was able to reconcile with his brothers. I'm sure it was a huge relief. The point I'm making here is that forgiveness is necessary. It is more necessary for you to set yourself free by forgiving someone or some instance that took place in your life in order to move on in life.

So with that said, I challenge you this week to think about the people you'd like to magnify appreciation to. Think about the people you'd like to reconcile with. Think about the people you'd like to simply forgive for what they did to you. Even if it's yourself. Before it's too late and you are left with words never spoken, consider the flowers you'd like to give while people can still smell them.

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